Technology, Exhaustion, and Pressed Babies

I must be a moron. You know those little buttons on sites that say things like "links" or whatever? I CANNOT figure out how to get one on my blog. I must be a special kind of stupid. I have read directions, called friends for help, and still can't figure it out. Anyone who reads this who would be willing to walk me through it would have a special place for them reserved in Paradise.

Ever been too tired to sleep? I hate that. Eventually, the body does just take over and knock you out for a few hours (days?), but it can happen at the most inconvenient time. Such as the middle of a lecture on Othello. Or while waiting in line for supposedly fast food. The sleeping part wouldn't bother me so much, but good god and goddess, the SNORES!! I swear that under most circumstances, I do not snore. I will whistle through my nostrils at times, but when I am really really tired, I snore. Apparently, loud enough to drown out tornado sirens and troops of marauding, chain-saw-wielding lumberjacks. This is not good in either of the above mentioned locales. The instructor lecturing on Mr. Shakespeare's work was not amused. In fact he threatened to remove me from the class permanently. It was my first infraction, by the way. The people at Arby's, however, found it quite comical. In fact, the sweet young man (perfect example of corn-fed beef if I ever saw one) gave me my food for free. Personally, I think it was simply because he was so overcome with convulsions of laughter that he could not hold onto the cash for any length of time.

My friend, Grasshopper, finally had her baby yesterday. She is fine, the baby is fine, her boyfriend survived the labor and delivery in one piece. However, it seems that there was some initial concern with the boy: he needed intubated and they may need to pump his stomach. According to the Grasshopper, he came out so fast that the fluid wasn't pressed out of him on the way out. Whafuck? I knew the birth canal was a rather tight fit from personal experience (the mom's, not the child), but I was unaware that it served a purpose other than to remind women to not do this too often. Hmph. Learn something new everyday, I guess. I had never heard of it before, but there ya go -- new and useless (to me) information. So, if anyone reading this is pregnant or thinking of becoming pregnant, you now know one other facet to having a vagina. It's for pressing babies.