Online Info

You can find almost anything online. I have discovered neon food coloring and some interesting baking ideas from Queenie. I cannot wait to see certain people I know poop smurfs! I learned about the origins of April Fool's Day. I learned that a group of kangaroos is called a mob. I have instant access to photos of my favorite animals--penguins--and all kinds of great toons, shopping, and so on. The one thing I have been unable to find is a cure for head lice. That's right...lice. Having a child in elementary school seems to bring the critters in univited. Wait, no one INVITES the damn things to visit. At any rate, we have done everything and I mean everything to get rid of these disgusting little pests short of shaving everyone's heads or pouring kerosene on ourselves. The school nurse thinks that I am to blame, since there are several days a month when my schedule overwhelms me and my daughter goes to school without a thorough combing of her hair. My girl is trying valiantly to to learn to brush it out completely on her own, but she is blessed with that wonderful fine, thick hair that can mat itself up in a matter of minutes if not braided, cut short, or otherwise restrained to her scalp. I have used OTC treatments once a week for the last four months. No lie...FOUR fucking months! I have used the bedding spray, vacuumed, washed the dog, washed everything that can go through the washer in hot water, dried things on high, frozen items for days at a time, used those metal lice combs, boiled allother brushes and combs, soaked them in bleach, put them through the washer and dryer, bought new ones...the list goes on and on. The school nurse's reaction? Check my daughter's hair once or twice a month (if we're lucky). None of the other kids in the classroom have been checked since the fall when the very first lice outbreak was reported in the school. No letters sent home to remind parents to continue checking or to inform them that another case has been reported in the school/class. Oh yeah, and to send Nix home with my oldest son (at another school, by the way) for us to use. Other than that, she tells me to put two weeks' worth of my girl's clothes in the dryer on high for at least 45 minutes then only let her wear clothes from that bag for two weeks. Huh? I'm not sure about other people, but I am not rich enough to have two weeks' worth of clothes for her to wear...I am constantly doing laundry just to keep up without having to add in the lice-y shit. Puh-leeeze! I'm sorry, but the likelihood that another child in my daughter's classroom has lice, even if from her, during the last four months is quite high. But, unless a child is crazily itching, most parents do not search their children all that frequently. A letter from the school is almost a necessity.

Okay. So, I see I've outdone myself. I apologize. I just cannot believe that science has gotten so advanced that we can track itty-bitty items through a tiny, hand-held device or give people artificial organs or clone animals, but we can't figure out how to kill a few bugs? I finally broke down and took her to the doctor...lot of good it did me but that's another story...and he informed me that lice, like roaches and other vermin, have become resistant to various chemicals. Great. Just what we needed...more pests we can't get rid of. What, men and kids weren't enough?