Cows, Duck Noises, and Punishment

Have you ever watched a cow try to lay down? In a slightly wet field with an overly full udder? It's hilarious! I sort of felt sorry for the poor thing. I mean it's front feet/legs were folded up under her chest and she was valiantly trying to get her rear legs to fold, but her udder kept getting in the way. I actually had to stop my car, pull off to the shoulder, and watch. She finally managed it, and then, like all children are wont to do, her came her calf, nuzzling around for a drink. She kind of tossed her head, and just laid over on her side. I believe the thought of trying to wrestle herself back up just to feed a kid who didn't want want anything to do with her five minutes ago was too much. I can sympathize.

My middle child has issues. Or I do. I'm not sure which. He's intelligent, healthy, and reasonably good-looking for being in one of those awkward teenage stages where zits try to perfom a hostile takeover of the eniter body. That isn't the issue. The issue is, he likes to make noises. Not the run-of-the-mill humming to yourself noises or fart noises or the like. He makes those too, and frequently. But, he also likes to experiment with these noises. Yesterday, I learned that he can make a noise that rather sounds like a duck being squished. I know no other way to describe it. It literally sounds like he's holding a duck and squeezing it into submission. I don't know whether to be concerned or try to get him into the sound effects department at Universal.

This morning, though, brought about a revolt. Mine own. I had to run a few errands. I left my two sons home, mistakenly believing that they are old enough to follow a list of explicit directions in my absence. I even took the precaution of talking it over with both of them befor eI left the house. I was gone maybe an hour...possibly an hour and fifteen minutes. Now, please keep in mind that this list consisted of two items apiece. I knew that the second items would only be started, and barely that, but the first item should have been completed before I returned. When I walked in, the oldest son begins by saying,"Nothing got done, but it wasn't...". I didn't let him finish. The middle child pipes up, "He tried to force me to shave...". I didn't let him finish either. Bad enough that Saturday morning TV is the most important part of the weekend and is responsible for several arguments each weekend when it comes time for chores or, god forbid, I want to watch something else...at any rate, I've reached the end of my rope. I consider myself a lenient parent. I like it that way. Kids need rules and structure, yes, but too much doesn't allow for any flexibility or fun. I don't ask much from my kids: take the garbage out weekly, pick up after yourself, help put groceries away, feed the dog once a day, and help with laundry. Oh, and clean your own fucking room! Being a college student, I admit that my studies often interfere with my own regular chores and I get lax when I feel overwhelmed. But, when I found out that nothing at all had been done, I lost it. My two oldest children are now responsible for everything of their own: cooking, laundry, school work, so on. I told them that they can do what ever the hell they want, since they obviously will anyway, but not to ask me for a damn thing. I will do mine and the youngest ones stuff that she cannot handle for herself, but they must handle their own everything else, including shopping for food. I figure that by suppertime tonight, I'll get an apology and they'll straighten out for awhile...they don't have any income and all the food in the house was purchased by me. We also live in the middle of nowhere (hence the cow watching) and neither one can drive. Hunger will eventually force them to talk to me. Hunger and thirst. Did I go overboard? Maybe. Are they being hurt? No. They will, though, be forced to acknowledge that things could be worse. All I know is something has to work, and I'm tired of being ignored. My mother pulled something similar on me, and believe me, it totally changed my outlook...until I had a job and my own car.