Personality Disorders

I have a personality disorder. In fact, I think I have several. Most people would at least have some kind of sympathetic emotion about the death of the Pope and about the controversy surrounding Terry Whatsherface. Not me. I am anti-Catholic. I apologize for any Catholics who read this. I usually am very open-minded, but organized religion creeps me out. I'm positive mine would creep out any Catholic. Anyhow, that is neither here nor there. I'm not happy the Pope is dead. I know that millions of people looked up to him, many not even Catholic,and for good reasons. I'm of the opinion that he led a good, long life. However, it is very telling of my personality that my first thought was of a hostile take-over and that I could be Pope Joan II. As for Terry (spelling?), I am of the opinion that the whole thing garnered waaaay too much attention. People are removed from life support and feeding tubes almost daily. I'm sure it's a terrible decision to make, but snap out of it already!

Another reason I am fairly certain that I have personality disorders is my supermarket rage. What the hell is with all these women who get dressed up as though attending an inaugural ball just to run to the grocery store? Makes me want to earp into their cart...all over their bottled water and diet soda. Plus, all these high-heeled, painted women spend their whole shopping experience talking on their cell phones about soap operas, the latest gossip at the country club, and what their overachieving child did that day. If you have forgotten your list or need to check into who's coming to dinner, fine, otherwise...put the phone in your purse, pocket, what the fuck ever and shop already! And get your cart out of the middle of the damned aisle while you're at it. You aren't the only people in the store you know. And cashiers who you just met are not interested in hearing about your doctor's visit, dental check-up, or yeast infection. Talk to them nicely, thank them, tell them to have a nice day, bitch about the lousy service or selection or whatever, pay the nice lady or gentleman and get the hell out of the store!

See? I am either seriously disturbed and warped or I'm just saying things that others feel and are too timid to say. I'm sure therapy would help me figure it out, but I rather like having an unusual view on life...gives me something to worry about. Besides, define normal...at my house, it's just another setting on the dryer. I'm even thinking of having that removed.