Stalker Vibes and children answering my phone

I am very pleased to announce that Kat does not pick up stalker vibes from me. This is a great relief. Makes it much easier to send her the W*M gift card. Which will be heading out via snail mail Monday. I will not disclose the amount. She'll have to wait and be surprised. I chose that kind of card because 1) she suggested it, and 2) W*M or Wally-World as I refer to it, is one of the most excellent places to shop like EVER. And it just got better. The recycled hubby is now gainfully employed there and gets an employee discount. As much money as we spend in that place, it's going to save us thousands. Of course, he thinks I put off stalker vibes. In reality, it's just him wishing I was stalking him...or rather, his body. But, he currently has at least one broken/cracked rib, and that has shut the playground down for the nonce. More on that later.

My daughter loves to talk on the phone. She is a girl after all. Plus, she's eight. She especially likes to be left in charge of the phone, no matter who else is home, if I leave the house. This has good points. Mainly, if she answers the phone, I generally know that someone called and the gist of the message. However, I know like three or four Wendys. Each of them have nicknames that my daughter knows. They seem to forget this, though, and lie in wait using their ESP for me to leave and then one of them will call and talk to my girl only telling them that 'Wendy' called. Since the little Caller ID box thing on my phone is broken, that doesn't help. So, once told that Wendy has called, I usually spend about an hour tracking down the right one. Of course, the alternative -- one of my sons answering the phone -- leaves much to be desired. I'll be home for hours and then the phone will ring and someone on the other end wants to know why I didn't call them back...two days ago. Or my other favorite:

Me: Did anyone call while I was gone?
Son #1: Not sure. I was on the Net.
Son #2: Yeah. Someone called a while ago. I didn't get to the phone on time.
(pause for me to check voicemail)
Me: Time to eat, play, whatever.

The next day
RRR-iiinnnng!
Me: Hello?
Mom: Hi. What's up?
Me: Not much. You?
Mom: Didn't Son #2 tell you I called last night?
Me: Nope. Hey! Son #2!
(distantly) Son #2: Yeah?
Me: Who called for me last night?
Son #2: Oh shit! You're supposed to call Other Grandma!
Me: Yeah, she's on the phone now.

** Kids! Gotta love 'em! One of these days, I'm gonna love their little heads right off their bodies...