Okay, it's so hot and humid here that as soon as I step outside for three seconds, I feel as damp as if I'd just taken a shower. And the State Fair doesn't start until next month. In summer, we have State Fair weather. In winter, it's Boys & Girls State Basketball Tourneys that fuck us. Heat waves in summer and blizzards in winter. So goes life in Iowa. Heat advisories out all over. Heat indeces (?) over 113, 125 by my mom's, and people insist on going out jogging and shit. At 2 in the afternoon. Uh huh. I'm all for being healthy and active. Really I am. But, I don't want to get that healthy. That is a great way to end up in the hospital. Or coffin. Besides, I am in shape. Round is a shape. I learned that in preschool. I am seriously considering getting into another shape though. I'm leaning towards a triangle, but my friend Grasshopper swears that I'm already shaped like a gourd. The bitch. Actually, I love her dearly, and that was a term of endearment. Of course, she's looking a bit like a gourd herself after this last child. Serves her right. Oh well, with this heat, we'll sweat it off in no time. Yep. We'll be supermodels in no time.
Fucking heat.
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