Helpless Men

So, is the phrase 'helpless men' an oxymoron? You know, like criminal lawyer? Or is it just me? Please excuse the rage, but I am beyond frustrated. In fact, I'm nearly to the point that my recycled husband can truck his lily white ass back to MN and I wouldn't think twice about his leaving. The man cannot cook. He can't or won't clean. He cannot remember anything that doesn't directly affect his immediate well-being for longer than 40 seconds.

I am the epitome of lazy. I recognize this. However, I can at least take leftovers out of the fridge and heat them in a microwave by myself. My 8 year old daughter can do it. Not my man. Oh no. Of course, this is the same man who lined one of my cookie sheets with waxed paper, put marinated pork chops on it, and stuck it in the oven. The smell had quills people. He will do things if I ask him to. So far, he's volunteered to put supper remnants away once and to try to bag up garbage in the kitchen once. Other than that, nada. I will admit to a few other improvements. Now, Wendy has seen my old homes and knows how I used to live. Mr. Man's apartment was fifty to one hundred times worse. Popcans and trash and god knows what else all over the place. And he wondered why I wouldn't drive up to visit him. At any rate, he is at least taking care of 98% of his cans and dishes and so on here, so that is some improvement. However, I think it'd cause a thrombosis for both of us if he actually helped finish putting away all of his stuff or threw in a load of laundry or helped his son fix a plate of leftovers or left the house for longer than an hour at a shot. Yes, he is looking for a job, but not energetically. And forget doing things as a family. Or as a couple. Plus, he actually accused me of becoming frigid the other day since he's only gotten sex twice since he moved in. Getoverit! With my stress level, sex is the farthest thing from my mind. Can he keep his hands off my tits? Nope. Arrrrgggghhh!

Sorry about that. Tension breaker. Had to be done.
Thank you for your time. Send me the bill.