Squashed Feline

There are two cats who live outside my home. These are not my cats. My landlord brought them here hoping they would eat mice and rats. Which they do. They also like bunnies and birds. However, they do not consume groundhog. Not even baby ones. I don't know, maybe the groundhogs are too quick for them. I do know they look extremely humorous when running. At any rate, these poor kittens showed up last year and where still sort of nursing. So, being the soft heart that I am, I began feeding them. They go in spurts: some weeks they eat daily, others not at all, and still others they will eat, but they insist on bringing me dead animals. I know they're just showing their affection, but it's still gross. At any rate, the screen is missing from my screen door. The storm window is up, but only shut about 2/3's of the way. This means the cats can hang there and look into my living room and yowl at me when they want food or attention. Also fine. It's rather cute, actually. One of these cats has figured out that he can squeeze himself through the window fairly quickly, thereby gaining entry to the house if he times it just right. This is also very humorous to watch, since he's big enough now that it looks something akin to one of those cheap horror movie monsters trying to crawl out of a drain in the kitchen sink. Last night, it was even more funny. Our inside door was shut. The cat had been let in and allowed to steal some of the dog's food and put back out already. Apparently, this wasn't good enough, he wanted to stay inside, and he crawled through the screen door and perched himself against it and the inside door (which is mainly small glass panes) and mewed till he got to come back in and get warm. I tried to put him back out before I did my final, before-bed check. Within minutes, his head appears at the window, to be followed quickly by his body climbing through. This time, instead of sticking there clinging to both doors, he fell completely through and became stuck between the doors. All I could see was his tail, his ears, and tufts of fur sticking up along his back. By the time I got over to the door, I could see how squashed he was in there, and I'm laughing so hard I can barely turn the knob to open the door. Poor guy. He took it well though. I took it as a sign to come up with a makeshift litter box for him and let him stay in for the night. He slept curled next to my daughter most of the night, allowed himself to be fed (twice) this morning, received some cuddling and petting, then proceeded to stare at the front door, willing it to open (use the force, Nails*) until I got off my just waking up, lazy, haven't had enough caffeine or tar yet ass and let him out...where he promptly jumped onto the ledge of our porch, glared at me before doing that wink thing only cats can do, and started to bathe himself thoroughly. If I'd had presence of mind enough, I'd have taken pictures of him with the digital when he was stuck between the doors. Unfortunately, I was too busy laughing. Usually when I see a squashed feline, it's because it's been in a tragic traffic accident.

* Nails is the cat's name. No, I did not give him this. The landlord's kids did. Nails and his brother Claws both spend time with me.