I"m Soooo Not Ready for This One

I have recently discovered that my eldest son is no longer pure. I believe this is a fairly recent event. However, Senorita Psychopath has been actively trying to become pregnant for the last year, even before she got with him. He says he has condoms and they've discussed the use of contraception. Uh huh. Yeah. That's how I conceived him. Actually, I just lied and told his father I was on the Pill. At any rate...I'm just waiting. I figure that I ought to be a grandma some time next year. I'll be 35 next month. At least I waited until my mom was 38. And, it's illegal to lock him in a closet. Or to cut his thing off. Or to have her disemboweled. No matter how pleasant a thought it might be.