Queenie Award, Penguin Nursery update, and the English Language

I won! I won! I won! Yes, ladies and germs, even though it was an indirect incident, I have been such a disaster in the kitchen as to deserve a Queenie. And I'm proud of it! I hope everyone heads over to her site, listed on the side here someplace, and reads my disgrace and gets hooked on her. She's truly funny, certifiably insane at times, and one of god's chosen, I'm sure. Besides, there are stories on there better than mine to get a giggle out of.

I'm terribly disappointed about the penguin nursery. I've done a bit of checking into it, and as much as I really want to go help these adorable things, I think I'm going to run into issues with finance. It seems that since I have no penguin experts to back me on the need nor offering to assist in the actual operation of said nursery/assisted rookery that I am unlikely to obtain the billions of dollars needed to start this project. Dammit anyway. Who needs experts? You build the thing, get some fish and then begin coaxing the little darlings into using it. No harm no foul. Humph. No cooperation. No cooperation at all.

As for the English language, being an English major has given me plenty of reason to look into it. Now there are many dialects and other aspects of it I won't go into. However, I am becoming enamored of books like "Lost Words", "Forgotton Words", and "Completely Made Up Words". Why? Okay, I'll tell you! Sheesh. I often catch myself wondering (for days) where and who gets to name things, decide what's what, and where various phrases/words come from. One example, shit-faced. Now you know that back in the Dark Ages, some ale-sotted moron fell into pile of shit. Human or other doesn't matter. Hence the phrase shit-faced. But what about others? Twitterpated. Legs up to her armpits. Legs that won't quit. If you ask me, that woman has serious health problems. For one, with legs up to her armpits? What a funny looking chic. And legs that won't quit? That is a scream for medical intervention. If my legs wouldn't quit, I'd go insane. How could one sleep? Seriously, now folks, and this is a hard assignment, trust me, but next time you're out and about to kill time, take a pen and paper. Listen and jot down a few of the phrases or words you hear and their context. Then really think them over. And please include the accidental mix ups. You know, the ones where you're talking slower than your brain is moving and you get two words bunched together. Or as my grandpa would say, 'you got your tongue tangled around your eye teeth and couldn't see what you was trying to say". Those can be the funniest things ever. Like Spanky saying she was going to end up in the looney barn or calling some drive-thru worker a facer instead of whatever it was she was trying to say. Or when my mom elbowed me one day, realized I was bra-less and told me to go put a boob on. These are still funny topics of conversation today. Let me know what you find. And don't worry, my assignment's already been turned in and graded. I won't cheat like that. I just found it interesting and thought you would too.