Fatties Have Feelings Too

     I'm sick and tired of all this crap about obesity. Yeah, I'm fat. But I'm the only one who can do anything about it. I don't blame fast food restaurants, my mother, or anything/anyone else. What I am tired of is all these stupid, false weight loss ads all over the place offering the quick and easy fix: lose the weight without changing anything. Right. If that worked, I'd be a size 10 without taking any stupid, possibly dangerous pills, drinks, bars, or injections.
    Another thing I'm sick of is hearing all these idiots saying things like "just quit eating". No. I like food. I enjoy eating. Eating is awesome. The same fools will also often say things like "monitor your carbs/calories/proteins/whatever". That's fine up to a point. However, your body operates on carbs, sugars, proteins, etc. We need to re-learn the definition of "moderation", as in "all things in moderation". One candy bar a week or even a day is not likely to kill me or even add an ounce to my frame. The problem lies in having 3 or 4 each day and not doing anything to burn them off.
   What I'm truly tired of are all the hurtful comments that get bandied about. Sometimes unintentionally by family and friends as well as strangers. Whenever one of my thinner friends makes a comment about not wanting to gain weight, having gained weight, or wanting to lose weight - I just cringe inside, even if I don't do it visibly. Why would you say something like that to an overweight person?
   Here's some insights for everyone:
1. Those of us who have spent 90% or more of our lives struggling with being overweight do not care if you need to lose 10 pounds, just gained 10 pounds, or are hoping to not gain two pounds from vacation/holiday food. Chances are, we've been trying to get rid of far more than 10 pounds for the majority of our lives. We are more than adequately aware that we are the people you fear becoming. How do you think you would feel spending most of your life with that awareness? That the image you see in the mirror is the image people have in mind when they say they don't want to get fat? It isn't pleasant, let me tell you, and the asinine comments made by you 'normies' do nothing to help us feel any better about ourselves or about even considering making a change for the better.
2. If you know someone who is even thinking about making a change in their weight, please wait for them to ask you for assistance before having verbal diarrhea all over us with all of your suggestions, pointers, tips, and directions for how to do it. For all you know, we may have consulted with a personal trainer, a registered dietitian, a gym, our doctor, and Billy Banks as well as the entire staff of "The Biggest Loser" before saying a word to you. If we want your help, we'll ask for it. Until then, try to say something really meaningful to us, such as "That's great! I know you're going to do your best and get through this!" Even offer of help is fine, so long as you're prepared when we decline.
3. If someone you know is making a change like this, make sure their sense of humor about the situation is fitting with yours. While I admit that watching myself try to do Dance Dance Revolution, aerobics, ride a bike, or any other form of exercise can be funny; I may not be ready for you to be laughing at me yet. There are going to be days when my ability to laugh at myself is going to be nonexistent. On those days, the last thing I need is to have you laughing at me. And don't say you're laughing with me, because if you're the only one laughing there's no "with" involved - you can't laugh with someone who isn't laughing. More to the point, that laughter hurts. It isn't easy to work up the nerve to workout (at anything) in front of someone else when you've struggled with a weight problem. Especially when, rightly or wrongly, we have been perceiving judgements from all the 'normies' around us for our entire lives. Your comments and laughter, even from friends/family, are why so many of us fail at our efforts as well as prevent us from going to a gym in a public place. If we're going to get that reaction from the people who should be the most supportive of us, how can we trust strangers to not judge us or laugh at us? We're likely embarrassed enough and disgusted enough with ourselves, I promise. We don't need your intentional or unintentional comments to add to the matter.
4. Think back, now, to your childhood if you're an adult. Have you always been a "normie"? Ok, then think about your comments to or about the kids that weren't. Can you even remember? Maybe not. But I bet those who were those kids can. The old saying "sticks & stones" should go like "sticks and stones may break my bones, but words hurt worse than anything". Because, I can tell you from personal experience, a bruise goes away in a week or so. The names a fat kid gets called on the playground in fourth grade? Those hang around for a really, really long time. And when they come from an adult who should know better? They really stick then.

We fatties have feelings too. Why would it be okay to treat us badly simply because of our weight? Is it okay to treat you badly simply because you don't know any better or because you have a fault, disability, or problem? I didn't think so.