Being Behind Schedule

Okay, I'm lame and I know it. Partially due to our economic status and partially due to our strange familial schedules, my family is waaaay behind the times on most movies, books, and other pop culture events. A prime example would be our recent viewing and acquisition of Napoleon Dynamite. I had no desire to see it when I first heard of it. My kids did. But, we did not see it. I did, however, see the llama t-shirt in a Hot Topic shortly after the movie came out and had to call my friend Tina, just because I thought it was funny to wait for her to answer the phone and without so much as a 'hi' say, "Tina, you fat lard! Come get some dinner." This was not as funny then as it is now that I have actually seen the movie. Well, parts of it.

I'm not sure why, but several parts of this movie struck my funny bone. Maybe it's a sign of the stress from impending finals. Maybe it's a sign of my lunacy. Maybe it's a sign of an upcoming manic moment. No matter what, the llama part kills me. Namely because while I do not consider Tina to be a fat lard, she does vaguely resemble the llama. Tina has dark hair. Her neck is nowhere near as long, neither are her legs, nor does she have as many, but she is a bit on the wide side. And, although she'll kill me for putting this online, I can think of at least one use of her hair, similar to llamas.

Now, many moons ago, Tina, Willing Tilly Tushy, Pink, and myself were all bored. (Willing Tilly Tushy and Pink are guys by the way). We decided to end our boredom by playing Truth or Dare. Tina was being fawned over by both the guys, which was okay with me, but being the witchy woman that I am, when she finally had pushed the flirty touchy feely thing too far in front of me when my husband was out of state and I wasn't about to get any, and she was sitting on the floor in a swimsuit between Willing's legs on the floor. Bear in mind, she had just shaved her legs earlier that day. It was Willing's turn and he chose Dare. So, I dared him to pull three hairs from Tina's body...below the waist and above her ankles. Guess where they had to come from? Hehehehehe. Okay, so I'm evil. It took all four of us to pin her down long enough for Willing to pull the hairs. She ought to consider herself lucky I didn't specify to do it one hair at a time. To tie this in to the whole llama thing, while I have never pulled a hair out of a llama's body -- from anywhere -- I imagine the results would be the same: much kicking, yelling, and biting. The upside? Willing and Pink decided that the game had gotten much more entertaining and Tina learned to trim herself at an earlier age than a lot of women I know. Oh, and the hairs were put to good use on the next turn, when I believe Pink was dared by someone (I won't say who just not me) to put one into a new arrival's cigarette. Gross, I know, but he didn't really, we just had the guy convinced he did. The reaction was worth it.

Okay, so I think that's the end of this manic moment. For now. I need to go write my last will and testament. Tina's gonna read this and come kill me. If I never post again, eat chocolate and lemon in my honor (not at the same time) and have several margaritas to finish it off.