Once upon a long time ago, there lived a fabulously brilliant, chubby, JLo-derriered, crimson haired Queen. She was a curious queen, reading incessantly, and participating in a never-ending quest to gain knowledge. This type of quest is formidable, but far more appropriate than her other choices: the never-ending quest to save her boyfriend or the never-ending quest to define and comprehend the human male. However, the Queen believed deeply in the power of knowledge, no matter how hard to gain. Until suddenly, instead of a productive day of seeking insights, the Queen's chariot decided to fall apart on her. Undaunted, the Queen, though very peckish over the matter, took it in stride, repaired the chariot and continued on with her quest. Within a matter of days, the Royal Coach fell apart again, making the Queen peevish indeed. However, this breakdown turned out to be the fault of the Royal Chariot Repair Elves, who apologized profusely, refused payment, and were promptly executed for their crimes. Feeling much better, the Queen retired for the evening, planning to renew her energies for the next step in her quest to begin the following morn. Lo and behold, when the Queen climbed into her carriage the next day, the carriage was once again broken. Since the Royal Coach is the only one in the Queen's stable, Her Highness checked the treasury and found it severely in deficit from maintaining the royal home and the unexpected coach repairs (elves aren't cheap, you know). This caused the Queen much stress and dismay. Her Knight in Shimmering Armor could not even assist her with this task, and she was forced to seek out the assistance of the Trolls of Paydayadvance, a small, treacherous kingdom nearby. After signing with her own blood an evil contract written in sorcerer's blood on a scroll made from the skin of sacrificial virgins, the Trolls agreed to partially refill the queenly coffers. The required repayment for this deed is so foul that I am afraid to repeat it in public: the odiousness of it would poison the air for centuries.
****Stay tuned for the next Idyll, when all will be revealed****
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