Arrrgh! Holiday travel!

Okay, so, it's Memorial Day Weekend and I have to travel two and a half hours to my mother's. Not smart. Nope. Of course, if it weren't for my son's turning the big 1-4 today, I might not have gone. Which would have been wiser. The drive on Friday wasn't too awful, until I hit Des Moines (pronounced Duh- Moyne for any non-Iowans) at rush hour. Even that wasn't too painful. However, traffic on the way home was agony! Pure torture. Well, around Des Moines at least. Some moron in some kind of tanker truck decided to come to a near complete stop on Interstate 80 before turning onto his/her exit. Which put me as the middle or third car in line in an "oh fuck, we're gonna crash" almost five car pile-up near the Adventureland/Altoona exit. The minivan and SUV behind me took the shoulder to avoid crushing me. And, as I went past the exit after this near collision, I could see absolutely no cars in front of this truck...not even down at the stop sign at the bottom of the exit ramp. Nothing. No one. Nada. I could have screamed. If it hadn't meant a rather time-consuming detour to go back and hunt this stupid shit down with my three kids and my dog in a non-A/C vehicle in close to 80 degree heat, I would have beaten the driver to a pulp with my T-bar or four-way or whatever that lug nut thing is. I'd sick my dog on him/her, but the dog'd just think it was a cool new ride and hop in enthusiastically wagging his little stubby tail, drooling and huffing his horrendous doggy breath the entire time he waits for the ride to start. The kids wouldn't have helped either...just made faces, swore a few times, and possibly trying to tie shoelaces together...and that would all be aimed at me. The driver's only risk would be ruptured spleen from laughter. And all the RV's?! Whafuck? Who are these people? Where did they come from? Where are they going? Do they even know? I'm all for getting an RV myself after my children have all moved out...makes it harder for them to find me to ask for money or to try to move back in. I just don't understand how these humongous campers can pass me by when I'm going 75...you know, the ones that could house a small military force comfortably for three years?...and these little bitty things can't seem to go over 40 and always manage to end up in front of me. I don't get it. I just don't get it. Oh yeah, and since it's a holiday weekend, there have been all kinds of tv and radio ads all over the place about the massive police efforts this weekend to enforce the seatbelt law and other safety laws. Intimidation tactics so that the State Patrol and local law enforcement agencies that garner major grants from the Feds for seatbelt enforcement can write more tickets and so that everyone drives with one eye glued to the rearview mirror for those lights. Uh huh. I didn't see one officer the entire time. Wait, I lied. I saw two of Perry's finest, at least two of their patrol cars, on two separate occasions while visiting my mom. Other than that, I did not see a single State Trooper or other law enforcement vehicle. I didn't even see one of those strange light blue DOT cars out. And I know why...honestly, this is the absolute truth...it's because of all the damned budget cuts! Nobody can afford to pay these guys holiday pay or for the gas to go cruise the interstates and highways. Which leaves perfectly law abiding drivers like myself surrounded by moronic truck drivers and other idiots to get killed or maimed while traveling. Go figure.