Leave it to Me

Leave it to me to have the strangest things going on. My mother is cleaning out her closets, getting ready for a garage sale. Apparently, she doesn't hang her clothes on hangers. Nope, she told me she hangs things on hammers. It was just a slip of the tongue, but still. A few days later, I'm talking to Grasshopper and tell her about returning our popcorns for money. I'd meant to say popcans, but it didn't come out right. Weird. And funny.

Now, my husband has been dizzier than hell the last few days. Literally dizzy, not just silly dizzy. So, after two days of missed work, off to the doctor's we go this morning. It turns out he has an inner ear infection, which is causing him to have "acute labrynthitis". He looked at me and said, "great. I've got the queer David Bowie in my ear." Now, King Rat is not homophobic, but he is a smart ass. I don't know. I thought of The Labrynth too, but in a different way. I told him we'd have to tell the kids they had watched it a few too many times in Rat's presence and now he had a disorder caused by seeing it too often. Our oldest is the only one who got it...either of them.

Another thing, I've done some analyzation and so on over the past few days, and come to realize that I worked my fat ass off for the past five years reading and writing mountains of papers, earning a Bachelor's Degree in English for no reason. I'm the first person in my family to attend college much less earn a degree of any sort, and it's doing me dick shit. See, I live in the middle of nowhere. Yes, I am close to Iowa City, but that isn't always a good thing. IC has the highest number of graduate level educated people in the state, and something like 6th in the nation. It sucketh. So, here I am, recently graduated, in need of employment and stuck trying to figure out where I'm going to land a job that pays about $11.50 an hour so that we can make it. Yeah. Right. And the war on drugs and the war on terrorism are working.

Grr. Snarl. Hiss. And, Growl. I need a vacation from reality. Wonder if I can OD on cheesecake? I think I'm going to go try...as soon as I gather up all the popcorns to take back to the store, hang up all the clothes that need to be on hammers in the closets, and make an appointment at the looney barn for evaluation of an impending cheesecake addiction.