Hic Sunt Dracones (Latin for 'Here there be dragons'). This is my real life, folks. I couldn't make this up if I tried. This blog is not for everyone. Readers are advised to travel onward if they lack a sense of humor, have an aversion to profanity, or are unable or unwilling to think for themselves. In other words, this is not the place for the Kool-Aid drinkers.
Penguins from Mary Poppins
Monday, December 12, 2005
Everyone's Pregnant but Me! Yes!
Do you have any idea how hard it is to type and dance at the same time? It isn't easy, but I'm managing it. You see, I am extremely thrilled with Wendy's news! I'm more excited than she seems to be. Not that I blame her. See, until my hysterectomy, I was one of those women who didn't ovulate...I pollinated! Let me even think about having a baby, and POOF! Pregnant. Lucky me. Very, very lucky me. And while I recognize this and have sympathy for those who have so many terrible issues having a child, I'm beyond thrilled that Wendy is finally pregnant. And I'm not! I'm not, I'm not, I'm NOT! Impossible for me to be and I like it that way. So, let's see, Wendy's preggers, Queenie's preggers, I'm sure millions of other women are preggers, and I'm not! Yee-haw! Of course, Grasshopper is not preggers. Nor is my other friend Spanky. Spanky would like to be, though she is prefering to take the conventional route and wait for a husband. Grasshopper about crawls through the phone to strangle me if I even mention a pregnancy test and her name in the same sentence. (I do this as often as humanely possible because it's fun to hear her rant) Several of the girls I went to DMACC with are pregnant. And none of them are me! Which is fine, because no one could pay me enough to do it again. I love my children. I actually enjoyed being pregnant for the most part. I could have done without all the vomiting, but I made up for it in waaay easy deliveries. Deliveries were easy. Pain filled, but easy. No C-sections, no epidurals. With my first two, no drugs at all. My youngest was the only one and I wish I hadn't had anything. Talk about a weird trip! Whew. And despite my eldest's recent issues, my kids are pretty much healthy and intelligent. Once again, I thank the powers that be for that every day. However, between being so excited for Wendy's Christmas miracle and being so happy that all the pregnant women I know are not me, I can barely contain myself. This took me half an hour to write because I kept screwing up and having to fix errors. I'm not sure if it's from dancing and typing at the same time or simply because I can't dance. Which is another post altogether. At any rate, Congratulations Wendy & Batman! Auntie Frigid can't wait for the wee one! Oh, and Wendy, the tadpole look vanished about 4 weeks ago.
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1 comment:
OMG I SAW the ultrasound pics and her fetus has arms! ARMS! Mine doesn't even have arms yet! AM SO JEALOUS!
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